him

Sitting here, watching Lolita, on my sofa, with my duvet wrapped snug around my body and kitten by my side I feel utterly exhausted. Physically, emotionally. I am lost tonight. My mind is in another realm. And all I want right now it watch my film and cry. How did things end up so awful?
I met the most perfect person ever and now I'm terrified he'll leave me for good. Rule one: Don't get attached. Well... that went out of the window. He knows more about me than anyone I know. Why do I feel so comfortable talking to him? I don't tell people how I feel. I don't talk to people about things. Why am I so at ease with him?
I hope he doesn't run away.
Oh why did I tell him I love him so soon?
It's utterly true but you don't do these things. I'm such a fool!
I've never ever told anyone so soon. I don't think I ever have truly loved anyone else, except lee. Lee is no comparison to him. I have never felt this way. I used to compare everyone I met to Lee. As friends, as lovers. Not him. He's different. He's more than anyone I've ever met.
I don't want to ruin things.
Oh I'm a damn fool!
I need to cry. My head is everywhere and my heart hurts.

iwishtherewasnothingbutus<3